PETA’s New Campaign to Combat ‘Speciesist’ Language Is Hilarious

News & Politics

The war on words has been taken to a new level of absurdity, as the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has launched a new campaign to combat “speciesist” slurs in the hopes of urging dictionaries to remove the terms.

What am I talking about? I know, this sounds crazy, but it’s true. Have you ever called a cowardly person a “chicken”? Or a devious person a “snake”? How about a disgusting person a “pig”? Well, PETA thinks using these animal words is “speciesist” and akin to using racial slurs and “supremacist language.”

“Calling humans various animal names is meant to sting, yet pigs, for instance, are intelligent, lead complex social lives, and show empathy for other pigs in distress,” explained PETA President Ingrid Newkirk. “They have rescued drowning humans and alerted their guardians to fires.”

“Snakes are clever, have family relationships, and prefer to associate with their relatives rather than with strangers. If taken many miles away, they can find their way back home even if it takes two years,” Newkirk continued. “Dogs have personalities as varied and distinct as those of the humans who care for them. A dog living in a human home has been shown to understand, on average, some 400 words of human language simply from paying close attention.”

Rest assured, I am not quoting the Babylon Bee.

Here’s a crash course on what PETA thinks you should say instead of common “speciesist” words:

According to PETA’s Katherine Sullivan, “When we tweeted about removing speciesist slurs from our vocabulary, the Internet went berserk.” I don’t doubt it, because this really is a dumbass idea.

No offense to donkeys intended.

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Matt Margolis is the author of Airborne: How The Liberal Media Weaponized The Coronavirus Against Donald Trumpand the bestselling book The Worst President in History: The Legacy of Barack Obama. You can follow Matt on TwitterFacebookParlerGabMeWeHeroesRumble, and CloutHub.

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