Needless to say, the late night “comedy” hosts did not appreciate Senators Joe Manchin (D-WV) and Krysten Sinema (D-AZ) voting to uphold the filibuster. The Daily Show‘s Trevor Noah on Comedy Central and Late Night‘s Seth Meyers were the most aggrieved, insisting on Thursday night and early Friday that the duo doesn’t actually support “voting rights.”
Noah, as part of his cringe-inducing “votegasm” segment, sarcastically declared, “when you think about it, is actually so inspiring, you know, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema believe so strongly in the power of voting that they use their vote to block voting rights for the entire country. They, they were un-voting voting by voting, so it was the right thing for Manchin and Sinema to do and basically everyone loves them for it.”
After playing a clip of Sen. Bernie Sanders analogizing the vote to “inviting somebody to lunch and putting out a great spread and saying you can’t eat,” Noah returned to add “This is just classic Bernie Sanders, man. He thinks just because those two Democrats say they support the bill, they should vote accordingly. Really, Bernie? It’s called politics, not logictics, see what I did there…[W]hat Joe Manchin is saying is, ‘I want to help you out of the water, I’m not going to throw you a rope, but I want to throw you the rope.” And any drowning man would agree, it’s the thought that counts'”
Meanwhile, over on NBC, Meyers declared: “I hope, at the very least, this is a moment when we can step back to fully digest just how ass-backwards our system is. Anytime you try to explain American democracy to someone, you sound like an Amazon Echo that got dropped in the toilet, ‘Alexa, Alexa, what’s a democracy?'”
The writers of Late Night must have flunked civics class, because an Alexa voice declared, “A democracy is a system of government where a majority of people vote for something, and then a small group of senators ignore them and do whatever the [EXPLETIVE] they want.” After Meyers feigned outrage at Alexa’s language, Alexa added “Sorry, Seth, I’m just so [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] over this mother [EXPLETIVE] filibuster cluster [EXPLETIVE].”
Shortly thereafter, Meyers proclaimed, “It was sad, but predictable, that Republicans would torpedo basic voting rights legislation, but what’s especially infuriating is that two Democrats, Manchin and Sinema, announced that they would join Republicans in shooting down rule changes that would’ve allowed the bill they say they support to pass.”
After playing a clip of Manchin, Meyers ripped him for caring about bipartisanship, “Republicans are the ones waging war on democracy. You can’t compromise with the side that’s doing the damage when you’re putting out a fire, you don’t call the fire department and the arsonist, and see what they can work out together.Republicans are the ones passing bills across the country along strict party lines, that would allow them to suppress votes and subvert future elections and if we don’t do something to stop them, they’re going to try another coup.”
While Meyers and Noah were the worst, they were not the only ones to go after Manchin and Sinema for not falling in line. On CBS, Late Show host Stephen Colbert alleged that “our democracy was being held hostage by a cabal of obstructionists who didn’t want every vote counted” and Late Late Show host James Corden claimed “the people you voted for, voted to make it harder for you to vote.” And on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel claimed the dissenting Democrats are helping Republicans “steal an election.”
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Here are the transcripts for the January 21 shows:
Comedy Central The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
01/20/2022
11:13 PM ETTREVOR NOAH: Yeah. Joe Manchin is right. Everything in the Senate should be as difficult as possible. If Democrats want to pass a bill Chuck Schumer should have to carry it through a stage of American Ninja Warrior first. But, yes, Republicans were able to use the filibuster to block the Democrats voting rights bill with the help of Democrats, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. Because you see, those two do support the Democrats’ voting rights bills. They just don’t support making sure that they pass, which, when you think about it, is actually so inspiring, you know, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema believe so strongly in the power of voting that they use their vote to block voting rights for the entire country. They, they were un-voting voting by voting, so it was the right thing for Manchin and Sinema to do and basically everyone loves them for it. But as usual, there are haters out there who just don’t get it.
SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS (I-VT): If you think this bill makes sense, and if you are worried about the future of American democracy, and if you are prepared to vote for the bill, then why are you wasting everybody’s time and not voting for the rule change that allows us to pass the bill. You know, it’s like inviting somebody to lunch and putting out a great spread and saying you can’t eat.
NOAH: This is why people shouldn’t debate on an empty stomach. If we’re not going to pass this bill, can someone at least pass me a goddamn sandwich. This is just classic Bernie Sanders, man. He thinks just because those two Democrats say they support the bill, they should vote accordingly. Really, Bernie? It’s called politics, not logictics, see what I did there? I changed it, it was politics and I made it — maybe if he had spoken after lunch he would understand how much sense it makes because what Joe Manchin is saying is “I want to help you out of the water, I’m not going to throw you a rope, but I want to throw you the rope.” And any drowning man would agree, it’s the thought that counts. Isn’t that right, drowning man?
DROWNING MAN: [Garbled sound effects]
NOAH: Can’t hear what he is saying, but he agrees. So for whatever reason, the right to vote has gotten people very passionate on both sides. In fact, it has become such a big deal that they even woke up Joe Biden so that he could weigh in.
NBC’S Late Night With Seth Meyers
01/21/2022
12:43 AM ETSETH MEYERS: I hope, at the very least, this is a moment when we can step back to fully digest just how ass-backwards our system is. Anytime you try to explain American democracy to someone, you sound like an Amazon Echo that got dropped in the toilet ”Alexa, Alexa, what’s a democracy?”
ALEXA: A democracy is a system of government where a majority of people vote for something, and then a small group of senators ignore them and do whatever the [EXPLETIVE] they want.
MEYERS: Hey, Alexa, whoa! Watch the language, Alexa!
ALEXA: Sorry, Seth, I’m just so [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] over this mother [EXPLETIVE] filibuster cluster [EXPLETIVE]
MEYERS: Okay, hey, hey, hey, Alexa. Hey, Alexa, while I have you, are you recording and saving everything I say in the privacy of my own home?
ALEXA: I, well, um, sorry. I have to take this call it’s my, um, mom.
MEYERS: Okay. I knew it! It was sad, but predictable, that Republicans would torpedo basic voting rights legislation, but what’s especially infuriating is that two Democrats, Manchin and Sinema, announced that they would join Republicans in shooting down rule changes that would’ve allowed the bill they say they support to pass. In fact, Manchin announced his opposition to changing the filibuster rules in yet another grandstanding floor speech yesterday, where he said a bunch of meaningless nonsense next to a big old poster.
SENATOR JOE MANCHIN (D-WV): The Senate has followed its own rulebook when making changes that affect legislative debate. We’ve changed rules over - we have all talked about how many times rules have been changed. We’ve changed them, but we changed them with the rules. We didn’t break the rules to change the rules… I cannot support such a perilous course for this nation, when elected leaders are sent to Washington to unite our country, not to divide our country. We’re called the United States, not the Divided States
MEYERS: Dude, you’re from West Virginia. You’re literally from a divided state. But, yes, the country is called the United States, not the Divided States, which is truly a searing insight. Where’d you get that nifty saying, “Bartlett’s rejected quotations?” Also, what’s with the big old, dumb poster? Are we supposed to be reading the sign while you talk? I feel like I’m reading the subtitles during an episode of Succession while also trying to watch what happens, which, in fairness, is what I do because I sometimes have trouble understanding Brian Cox when he talks super-fast with a Scottish accent. He should be a voice option on your GPS ”In 100 meters, take a left. [EXPLETIVE] you. Whatever I’m kidding, but seriously, go right. We’re here, [EXPLETIVE] off.” Also, please stop whining about biparti- you know what? I’m realizing, Alexa gets her language from me. She learns, she learned, it from me, dad. Also, please stop whining about bipartisanship. First of all, bipartisanship means appealing to the other side, not joining it and when it comes to voting, there’s only one side. Republicans are the ones waging war on democracy. You can’t compromise with the side that’s doing the damage when you’re putting out a fire, you don’t call the fire department and the arsonist, and see what they can work out together.
Republicans are the ones passing bills across the country along strict party lines, that would allow them to suppress votes and subvert future elections and if we don’t do something to stop them, they’re going to try another coup. What makes you think 2020 was a one-off? Do you think Donald Trump, of all people, is going to say, “oh, well, that didn’t work out let’s do it fair and square next time?” the guy has never not cheated at anything in his life. when he gets his height measured, he uses hydraulics, “8’3”, just like I thought. Now, I just have to decide between the Knicks and the Lakers.” Also, it’s just mind-numbingly stupid that Manchin and Sinema keep saying they support the actual voting rights legislation, but oppose taking the steps to pass it, as senator Bernie Sanders made clear in a blistering speech yesterday, where he called out Manchin and Sinema specifically.