‘Delegitimize,’ ‘Theocrats,’ Racists, Late Night Roe Panic Continues

Day two brought a drop in the quantity of post-Roe lamentations from the self-styled comedians of late night, but the lousy quality of legal analysis, civic understanding, and promotion of abortion as a social good continued on Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning.

On ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, guest host Chelsea Handler showed just far left, liberals have lurched, “In other Chelsea news, last night, I mentioned that I had three abortions in high school, and do you know what men on the internet had to say about that? I don’t, because I don’t give a [bleep].”

After asserting her high school has not inducted her into its alumni hall of fame for her abortion advocacy, she announced that, “I’ve decided to start a grassroots campaign. You should donate to Planned Parenthood and then march and then vote.”

As for pro-lifers wanting to adopt, Handler claimed they don’t really mean it, “You probably saw this online, but after Roe v. Wade got overturned, some pro-lifers have been posting pictures of themselves holding signs like this, that say ‘Please don’t abort! We will adopt your baby.’ There is some other fine print, though, ‘offer not valid if baby is black, brown, gay, or already out of the womb.’” 

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Justice Barrett, to pick just one example, has adopted black children, for which she was attacked. Pro-abortion fanatics have also literally attacked pro-life centers, churches, and the offices of pro-life politicians, but NBC’s Late Night host Seth Meyers wants to pretend none of that has happened, “amid a torrent of national outrage and widespread protests over the Supreme Court’s grotesque decision to shred abortion rights, Republicans are shamelessly claiming that it’s Democrats who are staging riots by peacefully protesting and on top of that, they’re trying to gaslight everybody into thinking nothing has been banned as a result of this decision.”

Meyers then launched into his recurring “A Closer Look” diatribe, declaring people are expressing “their grief and indignation over the fact that the right to bodily autonomy of women and pregnant people was incinerated by a corrupt gang of unaccountable right-wing theocrats.”

For Meyers, abortion is in the Constitution, but the Second Amendment isn’t, “I open Twitter, I see some new, horrifying case trending, like New York State Rifle and Pistol Association v. Bruen, in which the Court magically invented a constitutional right to concealed carry.”

He also misrepresented another recent case, “or Carson v. Makin, in which the Court forced local governments to fund religious schools.” In the real world, the Court just said if a state is going to have school choice vouchers, it can’t discriminate against religious schools.

Still, Meyers alleged this is “a radical court just mowing down precedents they don’t like and selectively reading whatever they want in the Constitution to further their brazen ideological agenda they literally just pick and choose the clauses they like and ignore the ones they don’t, like the one that prohibits the government from respecting an establishment of religion. Or the one that says guns are for a well-regulated militia.”

On CBS’s The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert welcomed Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to decry the ruling, “I hear the word “delegitimize” and certainly in Casey they were worried that they would lose legitimacy in the Court, they would do irreparable damage to the Court.”

Ocasio-Cortez would proceed to show her usual lack of basic knowledge by arguing that by demoting itself, the Court by “denying the human and civil rights of any pregnant person or person that could become pregnant in the United States of America. They have engaged in overreach.”

She would go on to claim that President Biden should embrace court packing and that the Senate should get rid of the filibuster or at least reform it.

Meanwhile, on Comedy Central’s Trevor Noah concluded The Daily Show by giving out websites and phone numbers for those who seek abortions.

Handler was sponsored by Ashley Homestore, Meyers by McDonald’s, and Colbert by Dove.

Here are transcripts for the June 28 and 29 shows:

NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers

6/29/2022

12:42 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: But before we get to all of that, amid a torrent of national outrage and widespread protests over the Supreme Court’s grotesque decision to shred abortion rights, Republicans are shamelessly claiming that it’s Democrats who are staging riots by peacefully protesting and on top of that, they’re trying to gaslight everybody into thinking nothing has been banned as a result of this decision. For more on this, it’s time for “A Closer Look.”

Tens of thousands of outraged Americans poured into the streets over the weekend to channel their grief and indignation over the fact that the right to bodily autonomy of women and pregnant people was incinerated by a corrupt gang of unaccountable right-wing theocrats. Who definitely think The Scarlet Letter was a comedy, including the racist neighbor who calls the cops when your leaves blow on his lawn. Mike Pence’s son or dad. And the sniveling rich kid who buys the town rec center and bulldozes it to build a luxury condo. ”You can hold all the fundraisers you want; you’ll never raise enough money to save your precious indoor pool.” Poll after poll after poll has shown that a large majority of Americans are opposed to overturning Roe, and that majority showed up in large numbers over the weekend in a series of nationwide protests. 

12:44 AM ET

MEYERS: I open Twitter, I see some new, horrifying case trending, like New York State Rifle and Pistol Association v. Bruen, in which the Court magically invented a constitutional right to concealed carry, or Carson v. Makin, in which the Court forced local governments to fund religious schools or Wally v. Spell Check, in which the court found that our cue card guy, wally, is not required to double check the spelling on the cue cards. 

WALLY: It – it– looks right to me, Seth.

MEYERS: It’s wrong, and you know it’s wrong. 

WALLY:  Sorry, take it up with the courts.

MEYERS: This is, suffice it to say, a radical court just mowing down precedents they don’t like and selectively reading whatever they want in the Constitution to further their brazen ideological agenda they literally just pick and choose the clauses they like and ignore the ones they don’t, like the one that prohibits the government from respecting an establishment of religion. Or the one that says guns are for a well-regulated militia or the one that says, “Oh, no citizen shall ever be denied the right to use a teleprompter. Oh, interesting. Did you ever notice that one, Wally? 

***

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

6/28/2022

12:18 AM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Stephen: When you mean delegitimize– I want to hear the rest of the answer—

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ: Yeah.

COLBERT: — but I hear the word “delegitimize” and certainly in Casey they were worried that they would lose legitimacy in the Court, they would do irreparable damage to the Court.

OCASIO-CORTEZ: Yes.

COLBERT: What do you mean when you say delegitimize? 

OCASIO-CORTEZ: So, what that means is that the Supreme Court has a power. Its power is in whether its rulings are heeded and respected and if so, how much and to what extent. And when we have the framing of, you know– the framing of our government, the presidency, Congress—the president, Congress, and the Supreme Court are supposed to be three co-equal branches, co-equal, none with supremacy over the other. 

And when any one of those branches overreaches its authority, it is the responsibility of the other two to check the overreach of—of—that—of that– authority. The Supreme Court has engaged in the overreaching of its authority. In denying the human and civil rights of any pregnant person or person that could become pregnant in the United States of America. They have engaged in overreach, and it is the responsibility of the president and Congress to put the supreme court in check because they have delegitimized themselves. 

12:20

COLBERT: What action would you like to see the Congress take? 

OCASIO-CORTEZ: Well, I think history really informs a lot. And it gives us lessons here. Because this is not the first time that this has happened. In the 1800s, the Supreme Court was taken over by the Confederate South and was starting to rule in ways that limited Abraham Lincoln, for example. In the Dred Scott ruling they ruled black Americans are not and never can be full citizens of the United States. And what did Abraham Lincoln do? He signed the Emancipation Proclamation. He ignored the gross overreach and abuse of power. During Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s attempt to—to– restore the country, during the Great Depression, with the Green New Deal—I mean, not the Green New Deal, the New Deal, the New Deal. 

COLBERT: Yes.

OCASIO-CORTEZ: Anyways, with the New Deal, what we saw was an overreach from the Supreme Court attempting to—to– prevent us from passing these laws. And Franklin Delano Roosevelt threatened to expand the Court. And in his adoption of that position, despite the fact that Congress didn’t do it at that time– although Lincoln did—but the fear of the Court’s power being minimized caused them to back off their overreach and abuse of power. I believe that President Biden should entertain expansion of the Supreme Court. 

I believe, I believe that he should forcefully come out in ending the filibuster of the United States Senate. I believe that he should call on Congress to repeal the Hyde Amendment. And I also believe that Congress, we, have the– we have the possibility, when we are strengthened by the repeal of the filibuster or the change to—to– a talking filibuster or standing filibuster, in doing so we can codify Roe, we can codify, and all the other cases that the Supreme Court indicated that they would threaten. We can codify same-sex marriage; we can codify the right to contraception, we can codify interracial marriage, we can do it, but we can only do it—we can only do it– if we’re not fighting with one hand tied behind our back, let alone two. And so I think that right now, we just need a fight. We need a fight. And we need to show and demonstrate to the American people that when they vote to give Democrats power, we will use it to the fullest extent possible to defend everybody’s civil, economic, and human rights.

COLBERT: Certainly—certainly– the Republicans use it to the fullest extent of their power at all times. 

***

ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!

6/28/2022

11:44 PM ET

CHELSEA HANDLER: In other Chelsea news, last night, I mentioned that I had three abortions in high school, and do you know what men on the internet had to say about that? I don’t, because I don’t give a [bleep]. 

But my old high school does. I recently found out my high school in New Jersey, Livingston High School, is refusing to induct me into their alumni hall of fame. Jason Alexander and Chris Christie made it, but not me. Apparently, the school is upset about how much I talk about my abortions. 

So, I’ve decided to start a grassroots campaign. You should donate to Planned Parenthood and then march and then vote, but after you’re done with that, go online and tweet a message to the school district for my alma mater @LivSchools, let them know how you feel about this gross injustice and use the hashtag #Hall4Handler. And have fun with it! Make me proud. Livingston High, the hall is in your court.

You probably saw this online, but after Roe v. Wade got overturned, some pro-lifers have been posting pictures of themselves holding signs like this, that say “Please don’t abort! We will adopt your baby.” There is some other fine print, though, “offer not valid if baby is black, brown, gay, or already out of the womb.” 

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