Colbert Laments Pope Is ‘Less Pro-LGBTQ Than NASCAR’ Ahead Of Meeting

On Wednesday’s edition of The Late Show on CBS, host Stephen Colbert reported that he will be part of a group of 105 comedians from 15 countries to travel to the Vatican for a meeting with Pope Francis, but before he does that, he lamented, “Pope Francis is less pro-LGBTQ than NASCAR.”

Colbert began, “If you are longtime viewers of the show, you know I’m a Catholic, which means I believe that one of the virtues is humility. Well, tonight I’ve got something to be extra humble about, because I can announce that this weekend Pope Francis is going to meet me at the Vatican! Right? I mean, come on. I mean, am I excited? Is the pope Catholic? I’ll let you know after I meet the freakin’ pope!”

Longtime viewers also know that Colbert uses his Catholicism to push un-Catholic progressive culture war issues on everything from abortion to gender ideology, but on Wednesday, it was same-sex marriage and homosexuality that were on Colbert’s agenda, “Of course, meeting the pope is a huge honor, and absolutely nothing could possibly sully the joy of this trip.”

That led to a clip of CBS’s Errol Barnett declaring that “Italian media reports Pope Francis used a homophobic slur once again on Tuesday.”

Colbert reacted, “Happy pride? Why? Why, Pope Frankie, why? You’re the progressive pope. You’ve made landmark statements in support of same-sex civil unions, conducted LGBTQ+ outreach, and said of gay priests, ‘Who am I to judge?’ Evidently, you were the pope! But you’re supposed to be the cool pope! The Vatican ally!”

Expressing his displeasure, Colbert added, “I can’t believe that I am alive for the first time anyone’s ever been disappointed by the Catholic Church. ’Cause now all of a sudden, Pope Francis is less pro-LGBTQ than NASCAR. Don’t believe me? They sell shirts that say ‘yaaaascar.’ It’s not easy to be less tolerant than NASCAR. You know their slogan: ‘Pretty sure our fans did January 6th.’”

Further explaining the situation, Colbert reported, “Yesterday at a closed-door Vatican meeting, Francis allegedly used a highly offensive Italian term to describe gay men. And to make matters worse, this happened just two weeks after the Vatican issued an apology amid reports that he had used the same word in an earlier meeting with bishops. The bishops tried to stop him, but they couldn’t get to him in time because they can only move diagonally.”

Ultimately, Colbert’s disappointment over the term may be real, but it is still a façade for his movement to get the Church to embrace social liberalism. Meanwhile, some of Colbert’s fellow comedians also making the trip to the Vatican include ABC’s The View’s Whoopi Goldberg and NBC’s host of The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon.

Here is a transcript for the June 12 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

6/12/2024

11:37 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: If you are longtime viewers of the show, you know I’m a Catholic, which means I believe that one of the virtues is humility. Well, tonight I’ve got something to be extra humble about, because I can announce that this weekend Pope Francis is going to meet me at the Vatican! Right? I mean, come on. I mean, am I excited? Is the pope Catholic? I’ll let you know after I meet the freakin’ pope!

I will be joining an incredible delegation of 105 comics and humorists from 15 countries, as part of a meeting to establish a link between the Catholic Church and comic artists. The pope, the Vatican, comedy, I can’t wait. 

I hope we get to meet the original priest and rabbi that walked into that bar! Find out what happened. Never found out what happened. This invitation was extended by the Vatican’s Dicastery for Culture and Education and the Dicastery for Communication. In my opinion, the top two funniest dicasteries. 

I know that’s controversial. I’m going with some of my buddies, because among others, the U.S. Delegation includes Jim Gaffigan, Conan O’Brien, Tig Notaro, Whoopi Goldberg, Jimmy Fallon, and Chris Rock. Chris, Chris please, for safety’s sake, I would just keep Mary Magdalene’s name out of your mouth. ‘Cause the pope wears a big ring. 

Of course, meeting the pope is a huge honor, and absolutely nothing could possibly sully the joy of this trip.

ERROL BARNETT:  Italian media reports Pope Francis used a homophobic slur once again on Tuesday.

COLBERT: Happy pride? Why? Why, Pope Frankie, why? You’re the progressive pope. You’ve made landmark statements in support of same-sex civil unions, conducted LGBTQ+ outreach, and said of gay priests “Who am I to judge?” Evidently, you were the pope! But you’re supposed to be the cool pope! The Vatican ally! You were — how do I put this?

EWAN MCGREGOR [as Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith]: You were the chosen one!

COLBERT: I can’t believe that I am alive for the first time anyone’s ever been disappointed by the Catholic Church. ’Cause now all of a sudden, Pope Francis is less pro-LGBTQ than NASCAR. Don’t believe me? They sell shirts that say “yaaaascar.”

It’s not easy to be less tolerant than NASCAR. You know their slogan: ”Pretty sure our fans did January 6th.” Here’s what happened, I’m not saying definitely, that’s their motto, they said that, not men, they said that.

Here’s what happened. Yesterday at a closed-door Vatican meeting, Francis allegedly used a highly offensive Italian term to describe gay men. And to make matters worse, this happened just two weeks after the Vatican issued an apology amid reports that he had used the same word in an earlier meeting with bishops. The bishops tried to stop him, but they couldn’t get to him in time because they can only move diagonally. 

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