Colbert, Pod Save America Come Up With Debate Zingers, They’re All Fart-Related

News & Politics

CBS’s Stephen Colbert welcomed former Obama speechwriters and current Pod Save America hosts Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, and Tommy Vietor to the Tuesday taping of The Late Show. During a discussion about the upcoming presidential debate, Lovett offered some potential zingers for President Joe Biden. However, they exclusively revolved around flatulence.

Colbert questioned how the lack of an audience will impact the debate, “How do you think that’s going to — I love those rules because, remember, the first debate in 2020 was just a shout fest where he was just trying to drown him out by being a complete tool during the debate. Can you still do zingers when there’s no audience? Do jokes still work? Because usually there’s a takeaway if he got the good one in and the audience responded. Without any audience, is it worth doing jokes?”

Lovett, who will also be a contestant on the upcoming season of Survivor, replied, “I think it’s tougher. I think it’s tougher, I think you have to—they can’t just be, kind of, punch lines because there’s not going to be anyone to laugh.”

Colbert followed up by wondering, “Right, you’ve written jokes for politicians before. Do you have anything—any advice for Joe?”

The question was clearly planted ahead of time as Lovett pulled out his notes and read, “We passed the largest climate bill in history. You remember climate change, like how you changed the climate in that courtroom when you stunk it up with your farts.”

It was the beginning of a theme as Lovett also suggested, “We’ll secure the border and keep families together, though no promises for you and your wife, Melania, with whom you seem to have a, kind of, hollow, loveless arrangement. She wasn’t even with you in that courtroom when you stunk it up with your farts.”

Finally, Lovett began, “I’m bringing down costs”—he is not—“You’re promising to cut taxes for your rich friends, but Donald, if you have to cut their taxes so they’ll want to hang out with you, are they really your friends? Did they even call you after the whole fart thing?”

Colbert then jested, “Are you just going to—now, will you email those? Will you email those to the White House? Or are you hoping he watched just now?”

Lovett quipped, “Those are the zingers for you. The zingers that could literally save America; I am sending them right to Joe.”

Throughout the bit, Colbert gave the impression he wasn’t exactly worried Lovett’s jokes posed a threat to his own job security, but the truth is that much of Colbert’s and his contemporaries’ jokes during Trump’s trials were about farts and Trump supposedly falling asleep during the proceedings.

Here is a transcript for the June 18-taped show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

6/19/2024

12:18 AM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: How do you think that’s going to — I love those rules because, remember, the first debate in 2020 was just a shout fest—

TOMMY VIETOR: Yes.

COLBERT: — where he was just trying to drown him out by being a complete tool during the debate. Can you still do zingers when there’s no audience? Do jokes still work? Because usually there’s a takeaway if he got the good one in and the audience responded. Without any audience, is it worth doing jokes?

JON LOVETT: I think it’s tougher. I think it’s tougher, I think you have to—they can’t just be, kind of, punch lines because there’s not going to be anyone to laugh.

COLBERT: Right, you’ve written jokes for politicians before. Do you have anything — any advice for Joe?

LOVETT: Sure. Okay. I may have a couple. I have some zingers, I have some potential zingers.

COLBERT: Okay. Alright. Little, zing bots.

VIETOR: Don’t clap yet. 

LOVETT: Let’s get those expectations, little bit lower. Ready?

COLBERT: Sure.

LOVETT: We passed the largest climate bill in history. You remember climate change, like how you changed the climate in that courtroom when you stunk it up with your farts.

COLBERT: What else do you have?

LOVETT: Thanks for asking, Stephen. We’ll secure the border and keep families together, though no promises for you and your wife, Melania, with whom you seem to have a, kind of, hollow, loveless arrangement. She wasn’t even with you in that courtroom when you stunk it up with your farts.

COLBERT: Okay, I’m sensing a pattern.

LOVETT: So, and here’s where I think we clinch the future basically.

COLBERT: Let’s clinch it, let’s bring it home. Bring it home.

LOVETT: I’m bringing down costs. You’re promising to cut taxes for your rich friends, but Donald, if you have to cut their taxes so they’ll want to hang out with you, are they really your friends? Did they even call you after the whole fart thing?

COLBERT: Are you just going to— now, will you email those? Will you email those to the White House? Or are you hoping he watched just now?

LOVETT: Those are the zingers for you.

COLBERT: Oh

LOVETT: The zingers that could literally save America; I am sending them right to Joe.

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