‘Men Lie’: Colbert Objects To Study Showing Gun Owners Aren’t Insecure About Genital Size

News & Politics

A new study from the University of Texas at San Antonio has debunked the liberal canard that men who own guns do so to compensate for their insecurity over the size of their penis. This result did not sit well with CBS’s host of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert, who, on Thursday, could only offer up “men lie” in an attempt to keep the canard alive.

Reading from Newsweek’s report on the study, Colbert reported that, “Meanwhile, a new study has found that men who are happy with their penis size are more likely to own a gun, and that ‘the long-standing assumption linking insecurity over penis size to gun ownership may be inaccurate.’”

Whose assumption was that? Regardless, Colbert did his best to preserve the idea, “Or, and this is just a theory, men lie.”

Colbert then began a mock conversation between a researcher and a gun owner, ‘“As a gun owner, how do you feel about your penis?’ ‘Good. Great. I love my big penis. So big. So strong. Never cries. Good strong penis. There’s nothing wrong with my penis. And if there was something wrong with it, that doesn’t have anything to do with my gun. Are you saying it has something to do with me that has to do with my gun? Because I will shoot you with my tiny, rump penis. I mean my gun.’”

The “long-standing assumption” was always garbage. It was just a juvenile and intellectually unsophisticated personal attack meant to advance gun control that completely ignored normal reasons why someone might own a gun, such as self-defense or simply enjoying going to the range. It also ignored the existence of female gun owners, but now that science has debunked one of his cheapest jokes, Colbert doesn’t know how to cope.

Here is a transcript for the June 20 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

6/20/2021

11:57 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Meanwhile, a new study has found that men who are happy with their penis size are more likely to own a gun, and that “the long-standing assumption linking insecurity over penis size to gun ownership may be inaccurate.” Or, and this is just a theory, men lie. 

“As a gun owner, how do you feel about your penis?” ”Good. Great. I love my big penis. So big. So strong. Never cries. Good strong penis. There’s nothing wrong with my penis. And if there was something wrong with it, that doesn’t have anything to do with my gun. Are you saying it has something to do with me that has to do with my gun? Because I will shoot you with my tiny, rump penis. I mean my gun.”

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