The Morning Briefing: Joe Biden’s Debate Tune-Up Is Alternately Pathetic and Hilarious

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Elszencia felt that her raspberry crumble was finally ready for Nibbler’s Row at the Tri-Village Biennial Flea Market. 


On Monday’s episode of “Five O’Clock Somewhere” my friend Stephen Green and I were discussing the fact that neither of us is completely convinced that the first 2024 debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden is going to happen, even though it’s only days away. As we have discussed many times, nothing should ever be ruled out in this most insane of election years. If it does happen as scheduled, Stephen will be doing one of his legendary live VodkaPundit Drunkblogs. 

Matt wrote a VIP post yesterday that wondered whether the Biden campaign might be trying to goad Trump into backing out. That would obviously be the best-case scenario for Biden and his handlers. They are no doubt wishing that they could reprise the Basement Strategy from 2020, but that is a lot more difficult to pull of without the pandemic as an excuse. 

The Trump people know that this debate set-up is ridiculous. This is from another post of Matt’s yesterday: 

One of the biggest challenges Donald Trump will have to face in his upcoming debate with Joe Biden on CNN on Thursday — assuming Biden shows up — won’t be handling the president but having Jake Tapper and Dana Bash as the moderators.

Tapper and Bash are about as anti-Trump as you get, and when Trump spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt appeared on CNN Monday to discuss the upcoming debate and happened to mention their bias, anchor Kasie Hunt had an absolute tantrum on the air.

When Leavitt pointed out that Trump was preparing to “go into a hostile environment on this very network with debate moderators who have made their opinions about him very well known over the past eight years,” Hunt insisted that both Tapper and Bash were “professional.”


My opinion of Tapper is well known, and Dana Bash is equally awful. As I wrote last week, I can’t for the life of me figure out why Trump and his team agreed to give CNN a desperately-needed injection of ratings that the network’s hacks can’t get on their own. Maybe Trump’s people are experiencing some buyer’s remorse.

There is almost no upside for Trump in this debate. The bar for Biden’s success will be so low that his cheerleaders in the mainstream media will have little problem creating a fictional version of whatever happens on Thursday night. That is when the “cheap fakes” that Karine Jean-Pierre has been complaining about will finally be happening. It’s Biden’s people who will be creating them, however. 

Everything about this debate has been set up to accommodate Biden. I’m surprised that they didn’t push to make it a Zoom call. 

Speaking of that low bar, my friend and colleague Matt Vespa wrote about Biden’s debate prep over at Townhall yesterday: 

No wonder why the Biden team departed so early to Camp David for debate preparation. The White House summoned all the top Democratic strategists and advisers to ready the president as best they could against former President Donald Trump. Before they could review any of their attack lines or soundbites touting this administration’s little legislative record, they need to ensure Biden can stand for at least 90 minutes.

That’s right, he’s practicing standing up. 

Admittedly, I chuckled when I first read that. Later, when I brought it up on “Five O’Clock Somewhere,” I couldn’t stop laughing about it. At some point, that’s all one can do amid this madness. 


Reiterating what I wrote last week, I’m not sure that Team Biden will be able to pull off a repeat performance of the State of the Union address. That was almost four months ago, and President LOLEightyonemillion was reading a scripted speech from a teleprompter then. There is also the fact that the pace of both his mental and physical decline has greatly accelerated in recent months. 

Which is why they’re trying to make sure that he can stand at a podium. I guess the litmus test will be that if he makes it through the entire debate and doesn’t collapse, huzzahs will echo all around the MSM and we will be repeatedly assured that the old boy is ready to go. 

We will then spend the rest of the summer reading about a sudden, unexpected nationwide Adderall shortage.

Click the button below to get the Morning Briefing emailed to you every weekday. Have your coffee with me, people. It’s free and it supports conservative media!  

The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

Everything Isn’t Awful

I have large white yak energy when I’ve gone too long between haircuts. 

PJ Media

VodkaPundit. Senate Dems Threaten ‘Tax Armageddon’

‘This Is Jew-Hatred’: Israel Spox Denounces L.A. Antisemites

Trump’s Chances in New York May Be Better Than You Think

VodkaPundit, Part Deux. NASA Pushes Back Starliner Return Date to [SHRUG EMOJI]

Never Again. Jews Are Done Cowering in the Face of Violent Bullies


Two Years After Dobbs, We Must Not Shrink Back From Fighting for Life

Meet the Latest Deviant to Join the Biden Admin

VodkaPundit, Part Trois. Yes, It Can Happen Here

We Can’t Protect Kids Without Fathers

Climate Activists Claim the Lightning Made Them Storm the PGA Tournament

Bully Cyberstalks Lesbian Couple After They Questioned a Man in Women’s Room

Biden Campaign Posts ‘Cheap Fake’ to Mock Trump’s Philly Rally

Jerry Seinfeld Destroys Antisemitic Hecklers: You ‘Just Gave More Money to a Jew’

Got Milk? You Could Be a Colonizer

Townhall Mothership

Schlichter. Do You Feel a Draft?

Give Me Air Conditioning or Give Me Death: US Olympic Team Rebels Against Paris’ No AC Rule

+1 Court Grants Motion to Block Biden’s Student Loan Debt Plan

Adderall Alert. Biden’s Debate Prep Includes This Physical Test. I Don’t Think It’s Going Well.

36 Shot, 8 Fatally During Violent Weekend in Chicago

Cam&Co. Is There a Silver Lining in Rahimi Ruling?

What Sweden’s Gun Control Doesn’t Prevent

Puck: Inside the Post Coup

We won’t win another war. There Is Now an Official Air Force Pride Patch

Time Magazine Declares War on Pets

Julian Assange Saga Ends; Guilty Plea Traded For Freedom

Kasie Hunt’s Husband Called Out for Celebrating Trump’s Mugshot, Reacts Poorly

It’s Time for the DOJ to Prosecute Pro-Hamas Agitators as Domestic Violent Extremists

Here’s More Footage of Reps. AOC and Jamaal Bowman Hopping Around Like Maniacs

Discount Store Elizabeth Warren Will Save Us From Greedy Potato Chip Corporations

Tom Elliott Presents a Retrospective of CNN Debate Moderator Jake Tapper



Become part of the PJ Media VIP party by subscribing here. Use promo code KRUISERMB to receive a WHOPPING 50% discount. Trust me, we’re having fun over here.

Shoving Virtues Outward: C.S. Lewis, Dostoevsky, and Leftists’ False ‘Virtue’

How Old Is Machu Picchu, Really?

Will the Supreme Court Save Our Kids From the Trans Cult?

Selling the National Soul

Is the Biden Campaign Trying to Bait Trump Into Bailing on the Debate?

Around the Interwebz

‘The Reluctant Traveler With Eugene Levy’ Renewed For Season 3 At Apple TV+

Decades later, John Romero looks back at the birth of the first-person shooter

How to Get In (or Out) of a Kayak or Canoe Without Embarrassing Yourself

Bee Me

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

Articles You May Like

NewsBusters Podcast: Biden Forced to Quit, Then Suddenly He’s George Washington
Trump campaign hilariously mocks Biden’s precarious candidacy in statement on VP debate
Vexed By Her Unifying Endorsement Of Trump, Morning Joe Attacked Nikki Haley
Texas DPS Arrests Cuban Nationals for Smuggling Illegal Aliens (VIDEO)
Nikki Haley, Ron DeSantis — who opposed Trump in the primaries — strongly support Trump in rousing RNC speeches

Leave a Comment - No Links Allowed:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *