The Daily Show Declares Christmas ‘The Queerest Holiday Of All’

News & Politics

Fox News’s Jesse Watters did not appreciate that Target is selling a LGBTQ-flag waving nutcracker, so The Daily Show sent correspondent Grace Kuhlenschmidt out on the streets to interview ordinary people in an attempt to show Watters was out of touch. However, she took the segment from the realm of the troll to the realm of the cringe and even the disrespectful as she declared Christmas to be “the queerest holiday of all” because Mary was a virgin and certain classic songs have the word “gay” in them, amongst other things.

Kuhlenschmidt began by showing a man the nutcracker in question, “I’m going to show you something and I want you to try not to lose your shit, okay?”

After revealing the toy, the man almost sounded like Watters, “Well, it’s definitely just not the classic because its choice in clothing is a little suspect,” to which Kuhlenschmidt replied, “You almost lost your shit.”

A few interviews later, Kuhlenschmidt was talking to a second man when she tried to make a sex joke, “It’s crazy that they’re doing this, right? Like, they’re taking this manly Christmas icon, who puts nuts in its mouth, typically dancing with sugar plum fairies, and they’re making this gay? 

After the man claimed he “never associated the nutcracker with manliness,” Kuhlenschmidt moved to a discussion with a woman and decided to go after the Nativity Story, “Christmas has never been gay at all. It’s always been about a beautiful straight couple, a virgin and her husband who have never had sex and he’s just remarkably chill when she gets pregnant.”

The woman, more on Kuhlenschmidt’s side than the first guy, falsely added “Illegal immigrants too, you forget that part?”

Meanwhile, in a different interview, Kuhlenschmidt sarcastically lamented, “Looking at this, you can’t tell me that they’re not sexualizing Christmas,” to which another woman proclaimed, “Yeah, maybe, but also, Christmas is full of sparkle, so I feel like—”

That led Kuhlenschmidt to declare in a voiceover, “How have I been so blind? It’s the queerest holiday of all.”

Back in the immediately preceding interview, Kuhlenschmidt continued, “How did I not see this? The twinkling lights, the tinsel, working with elves? Christmas is so gay.”

After musing that Mrs. Claus was having a lesbian affair, Kuhlenschmidt returned to another man who was not as convinced as she started to sing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide…”

The man, almost certainly aware that the word “gay” meant something completely different in 1943, replied “have fun.” Kuhlenschmidt tried again with the “illegal immigrants” lady and got the correct “gay” answer.

Reaching even further back to 1877, Kuhlenschmidt recalled the lyrics to “Deck the Halls,” “Don we now our…” and got the correct answer from the “never associated the nutcracker with manliness” guy.

Christmas is gay because somebody wrote a song with the word “gay” in it, back when that word had a different meaning and Joseph trusted God when Mary got pregnant. Why aren’t you laughing?

Here is a transcript for the December 11 show:

Comedy Central The Daily Show

12/11/2023

11:14 PM ET

GRACE KUHLENSCHMIDT: I hit the streets to warn people of the terror that was coming this holiday season. People might have to bust their own nuts.

I’m going to show you something and I want you to try not to lose your shit, okay? 

MAN 1: Sure. It’s a nutcracker? Well, it’s definitely just not the classic because its choice in clothing is a little suspect

KUHLENSCHMIDT: You almost lost your shit. 

MAN 2: It’s—it’s progressive, you know.

WOMAN 1: It’s sort of terrifying that so many people are frightened by a little wooden toy. 

MAN 3: It’s a gay nutcracker. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: You’re saying that looking at this, you haven’t turned gay? 

MAN 3: Not immediately. 

WOMAN 2: The gay nutcracker is better than the straight one. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Would you say this nutcracker is “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga? 

WOMAN 3: I don’t know. I couldn’t answer that. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Totally. That’s fair, it was a hard question.

KUHLENSCHMIDT: It’s crazy that they’re doing this, right? Like, they’re taking this manly Christmas icon, who puts nuts in its mouth, typically dancing with sugar plum fairies, and they’re making this gay? 

MAN 2: I’ve never associated the nutcracker with manliness. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: No, totally.

MAN 2: I mean, like, is it traditionally a manly thing?

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Christmas has never been gay at all. It’s always been about a beautiful straight couple, a virgin and her husband who have never had sex and he’s just remarkably chill when she gets pregnant. 

WOMAN 1: Illegal immigrants too, you forget that part? 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: I did forget that part, thank you. 

Looking at this, you can’t tell me that they’re not sexualizing Christmas.

WOMAN 4: Yeah, maybe, but also, Christmas is full of sparkle, so I feel like–

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Christmas is full of sparkle. Oh, my god. 

How have I been so blind? It’s the queerest holiday of all. 

How did I not see this? The twinkling lights, the tinsel, working with elves? Christmas is so gay. 

WOMAN 4: Yeah, it’s amazing. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Where is Mrs. Claus? Oh, she’s having an affair with another woman, isn’t she? 

WOMAN 5: Yeah.

WOMAN 2: Yes. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Are you seeing a theme here? Christmas is gay! 

MAN 3: I don’t think Christmas is gay. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Can you help me remember some of these straight lyrics for these holiday songs? 

MAN 3:  Okay. 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide… 

MAN 3: Have fun… 

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Make the yuletide… 

WOMAN 1: Gay.

KUHLENSCHMIDT: Christmas has always been gay! And so has the yuletide! Okay, so someone needs to tell the Yuletide’s family! 

Don we now our… 

MAN 2: Gay apparel. 

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