Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. (The Sine Qua Non Sequitur is forever in our hearts.)
It has been a while since we have had a go at White House press secretary and DOUBLE HISTORIC FIRST Karine Jean-Pierre (KJP). Honestly, she’s so bad at her job that we could devote a daily section of the Briefing just to mocking her. Competence, however, is not a prerequisite for government work, especially if one can tick off two HISTORIC FIRST boxes (see: Kamala Harris), so making fun of her workplace awfulness doesn’t provide the kind of challenge I like.
Still, a good mocking is occasionally in order.
This is a two-part story of “You gotta be kidding me,” at the federal level, the first of which involves President Puddin’ Brain’s glitchiest glitch yet. This is from Robert:
Old Joe Biden on Sunday recounted a conversation he says he had not long after he was elected with “Mitterrand of Germany.” Of the many remarkable achievements of this singular man’s presidency, this has got to rank as the most remarkable of all, for François Mitterrand was not “of Germany;” he was president of France from 1981 to 1995, and he died in 1996. Many people are pointing to Old Joe’s words as just the latest in a long string of indications that he is unfit for the presidency, but look at the bright side: if the man can summon the dead, maybe he could have a chat with Charlemagne or Jan Sobieski, and turn this mess around. Four more years!
I do think it’s important that we all maintain a sense of humor — however dark — about the fact that the leader of free world has the IQ of a well-worn bargain store sock. That’s on his good days, by the way.
If Biden’s handlers want to keep trotting him out in front of cameras so that he can babble about conversing with dead Frenchmen who he thinks are German, they have to know that there will be very valid questions asked. Despite the fact that she seems to not be aware that it is in her job description, KJP is the one who is going to field the majority of those questions.
My repeated use of the word “questions” might make it seem as if multiple media outlets would be curious about Biden’s rapidly deteriorating ability to function in public but…nah. It’s only Peter Doocy from the Fox News Channel who ever asks the spokesditz to explain her boss’s incoherent trips to Bizarro World.
Because Doocy is one of the last members of the White House press corps who is interested in doing real journalism, he brought up Biden’s convo with the dead guy to KJP. Matt wrote about it for us:
On Tuesday, Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy asked White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre about the incident.
“How is President Biden ever going to convince the three-quarters of voters who are worried about his physical and mental health that he is OK, even though in Las Vegas he told a story about recently talking to a French president who died in 1996?” he asked.
“I’m not even going to go down that rabbit hole with you, sir,” an exasperated Jean-Pierre replied.
But Doocy wasn’t about to let it go. “What is the rabbit hole? He said he talked to Mitterrand.”
“You saw the president in Vegas, in California. You’ve seen the president in South Carolina. You saw him in Michigan. I’ll just leave it there,” Jean-Pierre said.
“How is that a rabbit hole?” Doocy asked, but Jean-Pierre moved on, unwilling to address the issue.
There could be a number of things at play here. One obvious one may be that Jean-Pierre hasn’t the slightest clue what “rabbit hole” really means. Sometimes when toddlers learn new words, they’ll repeat them over and over, usually using them incorrectly. That could very well be what’s happening with KJP in this situation.
Democrats aren’t big on the precise meanings of words. They’ve been barking “insurrection” for three years to describe a large gathering at the United States Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021. The crowd erupting into a spontaneous performance of the musical “Hair” was more likely to happen than an insurrection that day.
🎵LET THE SUN SHINE! LET THE SUN SHINE IN! THE SUN SHINE IN!🎵
Perhaps KJP thought that Doocy’s body language and tone of voice were inviting her into an actual rabbit hole.
Hey, we really can’t rule out anything when it comes to this woman.
Let us now consider an even more disturbing possibility: maybe KJP doesn’t know who François Mitterrand was. If she does, she might be unaware that he’s been dead for almost 30 years. It’s safe to say that she hasn’t read any conservative media coverage of Biden’s imaginary one-on-one. Given that the leftmedia hasn’t covered it at all means that she could be in the dark about the particulars of the story.
One way to bolster a mentally iffy leader is to surround that leader with a cast of idiots who make him look good. That would certainly explain why Pete Buttigieg has a job in Biden’s cabinet.
We should cut KJP some slack and assume that she has achieved such an advanced state of blissful ignorance that she doesn’t know that the president donated his last brain cell to Corn Pop years ago. In her mind, she’s working for the greatest intellectual in the history of American presidential politics.
She knows that’s true because Biden told her that’s what William Howard Taft always says about him.
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