Stewart Labels GOP ‘F****** Children’ For Blasting Biden’s Weapons Halt

News & Politics

Jon Stewart shook things up this week as he hosted Comedy Central’s The Daily Show on Thursday instead of Monday, but one thing that did not change was Stewart’s habit of confusing snark for substance as he labeled GOP senators condemning President Biden’s halt on weapons shipments to Israel as “[bleep] children.”

Stewart’s musings came at the end of a long line of diatribes where he accused conservatives and Republicans of freaking out about things that do not need to be freaked out over, “All this false outrage is starting to make me cynical about America’s media ecosystem. Is there anything else going on that does merit a DEFCON 1 freak-out?”

That led to a clip of Fox News’s Sean Hannity declaring, “In the end, this is a sad day for America, a moral failing of a magnitude we can’t even begin to calculate.”

Referencing back to preceding controversies, a sarcastic Stewart wondered, “Oh, my god, a moral failing we can’t even begin to calculate? Perhaps it’s a combo failing? An appliance that changed its name to be more inclusive? Is Mr. Coffee now They/Them Coffee? Is that — is that the danger we now face?”

Stewart then played two clips of NBC’s Savannah Guthrie and Andrea Mitchell reporting on the news that Biden has halted bomb shipments to Israel with a third clip of Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin telling Congress, “We paused one shipment of high payload munitions.”

If anything, Stewart felt the decision was too little, too late, “Oh, my god! The Biden Administration has paused one shipment of 3,500 munitions, of the over 300,000 munitions Israel has already dropped on Gaza, to try and prevent the Israelis from attacking the area where all the refugees of this war are currently sheltering. I mean, oh, my god! Or to put that another way.”

That led to a montage of various GOP senators condemning the move. One clip featured Texas’s Ted Cruz declaring, “Joe Biden has been the greatest friend to Hamas and Hezbollah that there is on planet Earth,” to which Kansas’s Roger Marshall responded by giving him a high five and adding, “Amen! Damn, he’s good.”

Stewart responded, “Yes, nothing says gravitas like, [goofy laughing] ‘He’s a terrorist sympathizer –[indistinguishable muttering]’ ‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself [indistinguishable muttering].’ You people are [bleep] children. That came out wrong, but I am curious, why would Biden halt that shipment now?”

In a clip, Biden was shown claiming that “I have made it clear to Bibi and the war cabinet they’re not going to get our support if, in fact, they’re going into these population centers.”

Stewart replied by unwittingly undermining his own position, “If they go into the population centers? The whole place is a population center! They’ve been in the population center for six months! Gaza’s all population center! You know what you never hear around Gaza? ‘Yeah, I don’t live in the populated area. I live in upstate Gaza. I live by the lakes! It is really quiet there.’” 

The logical conclusion of Biden and Stewart’s position is that if the bad guys hold a city, it’s theirs. If Israel could fight Hamas out in the open, it would, but for all the IDF’s technological superiority, it has not managed to create magical fairy dust.

Here is a transcript for the May 9 show:

Comedy Central The Daily Show

5/9/2024

11:08 PM ET

JON STEWART: All this false outrage is starting to make me cynical about America’s media ecosystem. Is there anything else going on that does merit a DEFCON 1 freak-out?

SEAN HANNITY: In the end, this is a sad day for America, a moral failing of a magnitude we can’t even begin to calculate.

STEWART: Oh, my god, a moral failing we can’t even begin to calculate? Perhaps it’s a combo failing? An appliance that changed its name to be more inclusive? Is Mr. Coffee now They/Them Coffee? Is that — is that the danger we now face?

SAVANNAH GUTHRIE: President Biden threatening to withhold more military aid if the Israeli military carries out an all-out assault on the city of Rafah.

ANDREA MITCHELL: President Biden halting a weapons shipment of 3,500 bombs to Israel.

LLOYD AUSTIN: We paused one shipment of high payload munitions.

STEWART: Oh, my god! The Biden Administration has paused one shipment of 3,500 munitions, of the over 300,000 munitions Israel has already dropped on Gaza, to try and prevent the Israelis from attacking the area where all the refugees of this war are currently sheltering. I mean, oh, my god! Or to put that another way.

RON JOHNSON: And now what the Biden administration has done is they become the primary protector of Hamas.

JONI ERNST: He absolutely is siding with the terrorists.

LINDSEY GRAHAM: The only reason they aren’t dancing in Iran is because they don’t believe in dancing.

TED CRUZ: Joe Biden has been the greatest friend to Hamas and Hezbollah that there is on planet Earth.

ROGER MARSHALL: Amen! Damn, he’s good.

STEWART: Yes, nothing says gravitas like, [goofy laughing] ”He’s a terrorist sympathizer –[indistinguishable muttering]” “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself [indistinguishable muttering].” 

You people are [bleep] children. That came out wrong, but I am curious, why would Biden halt that shipment now?

JOE BIDEN: I have made it clear to Bibi and the war cabinet they’re not going to get our support if, in fact, they’re going into these population centers

STEWART: If they go into the population centers? The whole place is a population center! They’ve been in the population center for six months! Gaza’s all population center! You know what you never hear around Gaza? ”Yeah, I don’t live in the populated area. I live in upstate Gaza. I live by the lakes! It is really quiet there.” 

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