The best summer job of my life was piloting a paddle-wheel boat of about 100 passengers around a man-made lagoon near the shore of Lake Erie. The Western Cruise ride at Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio, was a 20-minute excursion, repeated Tuesdays through Sundays with new passengers continually during my shift of 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Fortunately, I got the chance to practice my nascent stand-up comedy routine, because even though there was a standard script that all the boat captains were encouraged to memorize and repeat verbatim, the college-age men and women steering the boats just wanted to have fun spewing whatever they pleased to their captive audiences. Besides, the animation displayed along the shores of the lagoon, supposedly depicting events in the lives of early settlers to that region of Ohio, was in shabby shape. Much of it worked periodically, if at all, and most displays were tattered and draped with creepy cobwebs. So creating your own stories, complete with jokes, made for a more entertaining cruise.
As I was carefully navigating the boat into the dock at the end of my trips, I would close my spiel with my standard line: “Does anyone here have any questions?” Pause. “Any answers?”
Polite laughter would usually follow.
Decades later, here I am posing quirky questions and answers — and maybe a statement or two — that might get people pondering what exactly is going on in this wacky world that we inhabit today.
Some of these observations can be found in my new book, “Obvious: Seeing the Evil That’s in Plain Sight and Doing Something About It.” And one or two, I must warn, might make some people uncomfortable. If that happens, please forgive me. Take this with a grain of salt and remember that there is still something of a peppery comedian lurking inside.
In no particular order, and with little rhyme or reason, I offer the following:
When I was growing up, we called “climate change” by other names: winter, spring, summer, and fall.
If a cow passes gas in a pasture and there is no environmentalist there to smell it, does it still destroy the planet?
Yesterday’s “conspiracy theory” has become today’s “I told you so.”
For many people, the search for God ends when they look in the mirror.
To say that Christians should not be involved in politics is itself a political statement.
The best-laid plans of men who act like mice often go astray.
Do not let your enemies define you; do not let cheaters make or remake the rules.
It’s true that hate can be considered a virtue, as long as the one you are hating is worthy of being hated.
Some people think that one of the five senses is “talking” — and they use that one more than all the others combined.
Can it be that “free speech” is perfectly OK as long as what is being said is something you agree with?
Of course, this is only a partial list for the reader’s consideration. I hope some of these make sense and might spark further discussion. If not, please watch your step while exiting. The ride is over.
Editor’s note: A version of this article appeared originally at American Thinker.