The cringe is strong with Mark Hamill.
The “Star Wars” icon watched enough of the Biden-Trump debate to know all the Dark Brandon memes on X can’t camouflage the truth. The commander in chief’s mental decline isn’t a “cheap fake” attack. It’s real.
And Hamill just doesn’t care.
While Jane Fonda teared up watching President Joe Biden decompose and director Rob Reiner screamed at his screen, Hamill refused to face reality.
One off night doesn’t change the fact that @JoeBiden is the most legislatively successful @POTUS in our lifetime. One off night also doesn’t change the fact that the former guy is a convicted felon, serial liar & adjudicated rapist who is unfit for ANY office. Period.
You might say Hamill carried on in the grand Jill Biden tradition. Apologies! The Dr. Jill Biden tradition.
Buckwheat butthurt
Eddie Murphy — genius, stand-up legend, Oscar nominee … snowflake?
The 63-year-old is back to his signature franchise with this week’s “Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F” on Netflix. That means he’s making the press rounds and, in the process, sharing why he’s still sore over a joke told 29 years ago.
“Saturday Night Live’s” “Hollywood Minute” skewered everyone without mercy in the 1990s, courtesy of the King of Snark, David Spade. Murphy’s 1995 dud “Vampire in Brooklyn” had just underwhelmed at the box office, giving Spade fodder for this comedic kill shot. “Look, children, it’s a falling star. Make a wish!” as an image of Murphy graced the screening.
Ouch. No, really, ouch! (And funny!)
Except not to Murphy, who is still talking about it to journalists. The bit was “kind of racist,” too, he argued to a New York Times scribe.
Has Eddie Murphy ever watched an Eddie Murphy stand-up special? The dude takes no prisoners. Why so thin-skinned when the shoe is on the other foot?
Maybe he’ll get over it on the gag’s 30th anniversary in 2025.
‘Jackpot!’ a bust?
We miss big-screen comedies. Still.
This week, Murphy’s fourth “Cop” movie opens on Netflix, not a theater near you. Next month, one of the funniest directors returns with an all-new comedy, and it’s debuting on Prime Video.
“Jackpot!” teams Awkwafina and John Cena, no comedy slouches, in a dystopian tale of a lottery winner running for her life. Literally.
It’s 2030 in Los Angeles, and a new rule says lottery winners can keep their millions, but if someone kills them within the first 24 hours, the murderer gets that cash.
It’s a sly attack on L.A.’s “soft on crime” policies and Biden’s pathetic economy, right?
Not according to the trailer. And given director Paul Feig’s progressive politics, there’s little hope those issues creep into the frame.
Feig previously gave us “Spy” and “Bridesmaids,” and he was a critical force behind the classic TV comedy “Freaks and Geeks.” He hasn’t been the same since his “Lady Ghostbusters” reboot fizzled with fans.
Neither are we.
Maybe Feig and company can tap into the zeitgeist for a return to form — or there’s a reason it’s skipping theaters for the streaming world.
Colbert’s despair
The only people more frazzled by Biden’s horrific debate performance? The writers at Stephen Colbert’s “The Late Show.” Let’s hope they’ve got plenty of boxed wine within reach.
The far-left showcase has spent three years protecting the president from himself, a balancing act that found Colbert spinning the special counsel’s report so hard the earth nearly came off its axis. When the Wall Street Journal noted Biden’s obvious decline, Colbert trashed the paper like it was the Weekly World News.
Now what? Can Colbert ignore the debate’s fallout? Would he repeat the media’s heel pivot and say Biden must be replaced atop the Democratic ticket (without apologizing for his spin cycle)?
We may never know.
“The Late Show” is in reruns until July 8. Plenty can change between now and then. Heck, Colbert may have a whole new set of DNC talking points to read from by then. President Kamala Harris? A shocking plan B, C, or D?
Just know we won’t get two things on July 8: laughs or an apology.